personal-operating-manual

Personal Operating Manual

Half of workplace and relationship friction is unspoken mismatch — you need quiet mornings, they schedule 9am calls; you want direct feedback, they hint. A "how to work with me" manual makes the invisible explicit. This writes yours: how you communicate, when you're at your best, what drains you, how you like feedback, and your hard lines — so people can adapt to how you actually work instead of guessing.

What This Skill Produces

• How I communicate — your preferred channels, response speed, and style (direct vs. warm, written vs. talk-it-out)
• When I'm at my best — your energy windows and the conditions for your best work
• What drains me — the things that wreck your focus or energy (context-switching, surprise meetings, ambiguity)
• How I like feedback — direct, private, written, immediate — however it actually lands well for you
• My non-negotiables — the few hard lines (protected focus time, no weekend messages, whatever's real)
• How to get the best from me — the practical "if you do X, I'll deliver Y"

Required Inputs

Ask for these if not provided:

• The audience — a manager, a whole team, a partner, or just for yourself
• How you work best — your conditions, energy, and style (drawn out if needed)
• Your friction points — where mismatches keep happening
• Feedback preference — how criticism actually lands well for you
• Your non-negotiables — the genuine hard lines

Framework: Make The Invisible Explicit

1. Cover the high-friction areas. Communication, energy/best-conditions, drains, feedback, and non-negotiables — these are where unspoken mismatch causes the most friction.
2. Be specific and honest. "I need 2 hours of uninterrupted morning focus" beats "I like focus" — specifics let people actually adapt.
3. Frame as enabling, not demanding. Present preferences as "here's how to get the best from me," not a list of complaints or rules.
4. Distinguish preferences from non-negotiables. Most items are "nice if"; a few are genuine hard lines — separate them so the real ones carry weight.
5. Keep it a one-pager. Short enough to actually read and remember; this is a quick reference, not an autobiography.

Output Format

How to work with me — [for audience]

How I communicate: [channels · speed · style].

I'm at my best when: [energy windows + conditions].

What drains me: [the focus/energy killers].

How I like feedback: [direct/private/written/etc.].

My non-negotiables: [the few real hard lines].

Get the best from me: [practical "if X then Y"].

Quality Checks

• [ ] Covers the high-friction areas (comms, energy, drains, feedback, non-negotiables)
• [ ] Items are specific and actionable, not vague
• [ ] Framed as enabling, not demanding
• [ ] Separates preferences from genuine non-negotiables
• [ ] Fits on one readable page
• [ ] Tuned to the intended audience

Anti-Patterns

• Vague preferences no one can act on.
• A list of demands rather than an enabling guide.
• Everything as a "non-negotiable" — diluting the real ones.
• An autobiography instead of a one-pager.

Example Trigger Phrases

• "Write my 'how to work with me' guide for my new team."
• "Help me make a user manual for myself."
• "My manager should know how I work best — help me put it in writing."
• "A working-with-me guide for my partner about how I operate."
• "Help me articulate my non-negotiables and work style."