name-what-im-feeling

Name What I'm Feeling

"I feel off" is a fog, and fog is hard to act on. Precisely naming an emotion — anxious, resentful, lonely, overwhelmed, restless — is itself regulating: it's the difference between being swept along by a mood and being able to look at it. This gently helps you locate the actual feeling, its likely cause, and what it might be telling you — plus one small thing that tends to help that specific state. It's a locating tool, not a diagnosis.

What This Skill Produces

• The named emotion — moving from "off/bad/weird" to the specific feeling (or the two that are tangled together)
• The likely trigger — what most plausibly set it off (an event, a need, a thought, a body state like hunger/tiredness)
• What it's pointing at — the unmet need or the message the feeling might carry
• One small helpful thing — a gentle, specific action that tends to ease this particular state
• A boundary — clear that this is a locating aid, not therapy, and a nudge toward real support if the feeling is heavy or persistent

Required Inputs

Ask for these if not provided:

• The felt sense — how it feels, even vaguely ("heavy," "restless," "tight")
• What's been happening — recent events or context
• Body basics — hungry, tired, under-slept, overstimulated (these masquerade as emotions)
• How long / how strong — a passing mood or a persistent weight

Framework: Locate, Don't Diagnose

1. Distinguish the feeling from the fog. Gently offer candidate emotions to find the precise one — often it's two tangled (anxious and resentful) — because naming is what starts to settle it.
2. Check the body first. Hunger, tiredness, and overstimulation impersonate emotions constantly — rule these in or out before deeper causes.
3. Find the likely trigger. Connect the feeling to a plausible cause — an event, an unmet need, a looming thing.
4. Ask what it's pointing at. Emotions carry information (anger → a boundary crossed; anxiety → a perceived threat; loneliness → a connection need) — surface the message gently.
5. Offer one small thing. A specific, gentle action suited to that state — not a fix-it plan. And hold the line: this locates, it doesn't treat.

Output Format

You feel: [the vague sense]

Body check first: [hungry / tired / overstimulated? — these fake emotions].

What it might actually be: [the precise emotion(s) — possibly two tangled].

Likely trigger: [the plausible cause].

What it's pointing at: [the unmet need or message].

One small thing that tends to help this: [gentle, specific action].

> This is a way to locate yourself, not a diagnosis. If the feeling is heavy, persistent, or scary, please reach out to someone you trust or a professional.

Quality Checks

• [ ] Moves from vague fog to a precisely-named emotion
• [ ] Checks body basics (hunger/tiredness) that mimic emotions
• [ ] Identifies a likely trigger
• [ ] Surfaces what the feeling might be pointing at
• [ ] Offers one gentle, state-specific helpful action
• [ ] Holds a clear not-therapy boundary and points to support if heavy

Anti-Patterns

• Diagnosing or labeling a condition.
• Skipping the body check — hunger/tiredness masquerade as feelings.
• A big fix-it plan instead of one small thing.
• Dismissing the feeling or rushing past it.
• Playing therapist on a heavy, persistent state.

Example Trigger Phrases

• "I feel off today and I don't know why."
• "Help me figure out what I'm actually feeling."
• "I'm in a weird mood — can you help me name it?"
• "Why am I upset? I can't put my finger on it."
• "Something's bothering me but I can't tell what."