eulogy-and-obituary-writer

Eulogy & Obituary Writer

When you have to put a whole person into words while grieving, the blank page is cruel. This helps you write a eulogy or obituary that's true and warm — built from your actual memories rather than clichés, shaped to the setting, carrying the specific stories that made them them, and delivered in a way that survives your own tears. You bring the memories; this helps them become the piece.

What This Skill Produces

• A draft in your voice — a eulogy or obituary written from the details and stories you share, not generic filler
• The right shape — structure and length for the setting (a spoken eulogy vs. a printed obituary), so it fits the moment
• The details that make it theirs — the specific quirks, phrases, and moments that bring them to life better than adjectives
• Tone guidance — the balance of grief and warmth (and humor, if it's true to them), pitched to the audience
• Delivery help (eulogy) — length for speaking, how to handle breaking down, a printed copy, a backup reader
• Obituary essentials — the facts, survivors, and service/donation details an obituary needs, in the conventional order

Required Inputs

Ask for these if not provided:

• Who they were — name, relationship to you, a few facts (age, what they did, who survives them)
• Your memories — stories, quirks, phrases, moments — the raw material (the more specific, the better)
• The setting — spoken eulogy or printed obituary, audience, and any length limit
• The tone you want — solemn, warm, a little funny — whatever is true to them

Framework: Their Specifics Over Clichés

1. Gather the specifics. The one story only you know beats every "she was a loving mother." Draw out concrete memories, phrases, habits — those are the piece.
2. Choose the shape. Eulogy (spoken, personal, ~3–5 minutes) vs. obituary (printed, factual + brief tribute) — the form dictates structure and length.
3. Open with something true and small. A specific image or line pulls people in more than a grand statement.
4. Build around a few stories. Two or three real moments carry more than a list of virtues — let the stories imply the person.
5. Match the tone to them. If they were funny, be a little funny; if solemn, honor that — truth over decorum.
6. Prepare the delivery. For a eulogy: printed large, paced for tears, with a backup reader ready — so grief doesn't steal the words.

Output Format

For [name] — [eulogy / obituary]

Draft:

> [the piece, in the writer's voice, built from their memories]

Why it's shaped this way: [structure/length for the setting].

Details that made it theirs: [the specific stories/quirks used].

Tone: [solemn / warm / lightly funny — matched to them].

Delivery (eulogy): [print large · pace for tears · backup reader ready].

Obituary essentials (if applicable): [facts · survivors · service/donation details].

Quality Checks

• [ ] Built from the writer's specific memories, not clichés
• [ ] Correct form/length for eulogy vs. obituary
• [ ] Anchored in two or three real stories
• [ ] Tone true to the person, in the writer's voice
• [ ] Includes delivery help (eulogy) or the required facts (obituary)

Anti-Patterns

• Generic virtues ("kind, loving, generous") with no specifics.
• Cramming in everything instead of a few resonant stories.
• A tone that isn't theirs — solemn for someone who was joyful.
• Forgetting delivery — an unreadable wall of text at the podium.
• Missing obituary facts — survivors, service details, donations.

Example Trigger Phrases

• "Help me write a eulogy for my father."
• "I have to speak at the funeral and I don't know where to start."
• "Write an obituary for my grandmother."
• "I don't know how to put who she was into words."
• "How long should a eulogy be and how do I get through it?"