double-opt-in-intro

Double Opt-In Intro Skill

Cold intros spend other people's time without asking: the classic "meet X, you two should talk!" hands the busier party an obligation they never accepted. The double-opt-in flow fixes it — each side privately agrees before the connection happens — and the mechanical heart is the forwardable blurb: the requester writes three sentences the introducer can forward as-is, making the ask one tap to relay and one line to accept or quietly decline.

What This Skill Produces

• The requester's package — the ask to the introducer + the forwardable blurb (who, why-this-person, the specific ask)
• The introducer's flow — the forward with a one-line frame, the wait, and the intro sent only on yes
• The intro email — both opted in: context per side, the reason, and the handoff line that exits the introducer
• The decline paths — for the introducer ("not close enough to X to ask") and the target ("swamped this quarter") — graceful, relationship-safe

Required Inputs

Ask for these if not provided:

• The role — requesting an intro, being asked to make one, or writing the final connect — the skill drafts a different artifact for each
• The specifics — who, to whom, why this person specifically (the blurb dies without it), and the ask's size (20-minute call vs. ongoing advice — size honestly)
• The relationship strengths — how well the introducer actually knows each side; borrowed credibility is being spent, and the drafts calibrate to the balance

Framework: The Flow Rules

1. The forwardable blurb is the unit of work: 3–4 sentences in the requester's voice — who they are (one line of proof, not a bio), why this target (specific: "your migration post covered exactly what we're hitting"), and the sized ask ("20 minutes, async questions welcome"). Written to be forwarded verbatim — the introducer should never have to compose.
2. Ask the busier side privately first: the forward goes to the target with one framing line ("worth your time, IMO — no pressure either way"); the requester is not cc'd. Yes → intro. Silence or no → the requester hears "couldn't make it happen this time," no details, no embarrassment on either side.
3. The intro email is short and exits fast: one line of context per person (tuned to impress each with the other — that's the introducer's actual value-add), the why, then the handoff: "[Requester], you're up — I'll leave you two to it. Moving to bcc." The bcc exit is standard and kind.
4. The requester's follow-through prices future intros: reply within a day, take the meeting prepared, and close the loop with the introducer afterward ("we talked — super useful, thank you"). Introducers remember loop-closers; the thank-you note is the application for the next intro.
5. Declines are part of the system working: an introducer declining ("I don't know her well enough to spend that ask") and a target declining are both fine outcomes the flow is built to make painless — the drafts include both, warm and reason-light.

Output Format

Intro Flow: [requester] → [target] via [introducer] — role: [which artifact]

The Forwardable Blurb (requester writes)

[3–4 sentences, verbatim-forwardable: proof line · why-this-person · sized ask]

The Opt-In Forward (introducer sends)

[One framing line + the blurb · requester not cc'd]

The Intro (on yes)

[Context line each · the why · the bcc-exit handoff]

Declines

[Introducer's: … · Target's (relayed): … — both graceful]

Quality Checks

• [ ] The blurb is forwardable verbatim — the introducer composes nothing
• [ ] The target was asked privately before any connection
• [ ] The ask is sized honestly and small enough to accept in one reply
• [ ] The intro email exits the introducer via bcc in the first exchange
• [ ] Both decline paths exist and blame no one

Anti-Patterns

• [ ] Do not connect without both yeses — a cold three-way intro spends the target's time without consent
• [ ] Do not write "you two should talk" without the why-this-person — vague intros get vague declines
• [ ] Do not cc the requester on the opt-in ask — it converts a free no into a public one
• [ ] Do not oversell the requester — the introducer's credibility is the currency, and inflation debases it
• [ ] Do not skip the loop-close — introducers who never hear outcomes stop introducing